The Onion

Arafat's $1.3 Billion

August 21, 2002 | Issue 38•30

PLO leader Yasser Arafat has amassed a personal fortune of $1.3 billion—much of it allegedly coming from international aid intended for his people. What do you think?

Old Man

Phil Dixon,
Systems
Analyst

"Wow, you could strap a lot of dynamite to a lot of teens with that kind of cash."

Young Woman

Melissa Unger,
Dentist
"I had my suspicions when I saw footage of PLO soldiers throwing some really, really great rocks."

Asian Man

Danny Ploeg,
Sales Representative
"Shit, you'd think he'd be able to afford to move."

Old Woman

Rachel Kittridge,
Florist
"It's not surprising. Arafat's compound is among among the most lavish cement dwellings in the entire West Bank."

Black Man

Bob Lawton,
Civil Engineer
"Arafat's got $1.3 billion? I guess he does have a nickel for every time somebody called him a terrorist."

Young Man

Ron Runnels,
Cashier
"So as much as he hates the Jews, deep down he's really not all that different."

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