The Onion

Rise Of The Far Right In Europe

May 15, 2002 | Issue 38•18

From France to Austria to the Netherlands, ultra-nationalist, far-right political parties hostile to immigration are making gains throughout Europe. What do you think?

Young Man

Chris Winfield,
Plumber
"Who cares if a bunch of fjord-niggers wanna go all fascist? We can take 'em."

Young Woman

Eileen Tenace,
Buyer
"Darling, I just returned from Fascism Week in Milan, and I dare say floral prints are back with a cold, steel vengeance this year."

Asian Man

Paul Bevacqua,
Cab Driver
"I thought France already was fascist. The French guy at the coffee shop sure is."

Old Man

Dan Eichelberger,
Systems Analyst
"If everyone has food on the table and the trains run on time, maybe it's worth the occasional mile-deep pit of innocent civilians."

Old Woman

Laurie Almon,
Architect
"Imagine how awful it would be if there were a resurgence of anti-Semitism in Europe. It'd be just like the last 2,000 years all over again."

Black Man

Raymond Fingers,
Civil Engineer
"Just keep your eye on them shifty-looking Luxembourgers. They're just waiting for the rest of the world to blink."

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