The Onion

Kerrey's Secret Shame

May 9, 2001 | Issue 37•17

Last week, former senator Bob Kerrey admitted that a raid he led in the Vietnam War resulted in the deaths of at least 13 unarmed women and children. What do you think?

Old Man

Myron Kannell,
Systems Analyst
"Geez, you'd think he could make a run at the presidency without resorting to this kind of grandstanding."

Black Man

Peter Odomes,
Banker
"We all have skeletons in our closets. Of course, in Kerrey's case, it's a whole pile of Vietnamese child skeletons, but still."

Young Man

Andrew Hosch,
Telemarketer
"Come on. If that had really happened, he'd have an ear necklace like McCain."

Asian Man

Ike Brophy,
File Clerk
"There are many good reasons to kill: money, revenge, that satisfying 'thwump' sound... but not to advance one's political career."

Old Woman

Paulette Arnold,
Homemaker
"What I want to know is, when he realized what had happened, did he throw back his head and yell, 'Nooooo!' in pain and rage?"

Young Woman

Denise Pillers,
Florist
"I suppose next you're going to tell me that Senator Calley was involved in this sort of thing, too."

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