The Onion

Chemical And Biological Weapons

October 10, 2001 | Issue 37•36

Many Americans fear that terrorists may one day strike the U.S. with chemical and biological weapons. What do you think about the prospect?

Young Woman

Donna McKechnie,
Student
"It's certainly frightening to consider, but I take comfort in the fact that it can't happen to me.
It can't happen to me.
It can't happen to me.
It can't happen..."

Black Man

Christopher King,
Systems Analyst
"I'm not breathing any air until I've seen somebody else breathe it first."

Young Man

Dan Desmond,
Landscaper
"This is the plague The Bible done talked about."

Asian Man

Jordan Ryback,
Cashier
"Speaking of which, don't go in the bathroom for a while. I just dropped a toxic payload of catastrophic size in there, man."

Old Woman

Fran Lake,
Homemaker
"Let's not take any chances—we should arrest and detain The Chemical Brothers immediately."

Old Man

Michael Cuyler,
Contractor
"I bought a gas mask for protection. I also bought an anthrax vaccine, a safety suit, and a hermetically sealed house that I never leave."

Cut-and-paste

Include:

Preview

Copy and paste this code into a new post in Blogger, MySpace, or any other blog tool. It will display this Onion headline, picture, and teaser copy on your page, depending on what you select above.

It's up to you to write the rest of the blog post.

 

Text This Headline

 

Powered by TeleFlip use to email to any cell phone

  • Print
  • blog this
  • StumbleUpon
  • Reddit
  • digg this

Personal of the Day