The Onion

A Year Without Movies Or TV?

September 27, 2000 | Issue 36•34

Hollywood is on edge over potential actors' and writers' strikes next year, which would cripple the television and film industries. What do you think about these looming work stoppages?

Asian Man

Ben Upchurch,
Carpet Installer
"My God. Episodes of Titus might have to be rationed to one a month."

Old Man

Robert Anders,
Systems Analyst
"The commercial actors have been on strike for five months, and just look how the quality has slipped. That new Buick Regal ad is a huge disappointment."

Old Woman

Dana Demuth,
Librarian
"How am I supposed to get by on the hundreds of thousands of movies and TV shows that have already been made?"

Young Man

Ken Watson,
Auto Mechanic
"It sickens me that these studio overlords refuse to give in to these poor actors' simple demand for seared foie gras with young arugula and cherry chutney in their catering spreads."

Young Woman

Andrea Leach,
Speech Pathologist
"I was deeply moved when Jenna Elfman stood up on that ABC-sweatshop table holding a 'Union' sign."

Black Man

Larry Odomes,
Bond Trader
"I'm only supporting the strike because I don't want to get on David Hyde Pierce's bad side."

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