The Onion

The World War II Memorial

June 20, 2001 | Issue 37•23

The planned WWII Memorial on the National Mall has sparked controversy, its critics questioning its necessity, location, and design. What do you think?

Young Man

Ronald Herr,
Landscaper
"I think the solution is to keep talking about this for the next 20 years. Then, when the last WWII veteran finally dies, we can just drop the whole thing."

Old Man

Phillip Porter,
Systems Analyst
"Isn't Tom Brokaw's plan to personally fellate every living WWII veteran thanks enough?"

Asian Man

David Andujar,
Auto Mechanic
"I'm not convinced what they did was so great. I made it to the end of Castle Wolfenstein in, like, two hours."

Black Man

Larry Hendrick Airline Pilot,
Larry Hendrick Airline Pilot
"This monument ruins the symmetry of the national mall. The World War III one, though, will nicely balance the south end and lead the eye toward the reflecting pool."

Old Woman

Elizabeth Oberkfell,
Translator
"Those WWII vets are just jealous of the Vietnam vets and Holocaust survivors."

Young Woman

Dana Forsch,
Social Worker
"Only by building a memorial to those who risked their lives for their country can we finally shut them up."

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