The Onion

Vermont OKs Gay Marriage

May 3, 2000 | Issue 36•16

Last week, Vermont became the first state to legally recognize same-sex marriages. What do you think about this historic legislation?

Old Woman

Linda Leone,
Pharmacist
"At long last, Ben will be able to make an honest man of Jerry."

Young Woman

Risa More,
School Psychologist
"Gay marriage is only going to take weddings to another opulent level."

Old Man

Richard Westlake,
Systems Analyst
"I suppose it's okay for homosexuals to marry–so long as they don't marry each other, of course."

Asian Man

Hal Iorg,
Gas-Station Clerk
"Shit. Now Mom will really step up the pressure on me and my leather slave to finally tie the knot."

Black Man

George Lewis,
Architect
"First, the military, now marriage. Why do these gays want in on our worst institutions?"

Young Man

Frank Brodhagen,
Truck Driver
"Homosexuals are just trying to make their sodomy as morally acceptable as the sodomy I enjoy in my church-sanctioned marriage."

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