The Onion

The Defense Budget

February 13, 2002 | Issue 38•05

President Bush's proposed $379 billion defense budget would be the largest increase in two decades. What do you think?

Young Woman

Dana Durbin,
Teacher
"That seems like a reasonable amount. Wait, I didn't see those last nine zeroes. Uh-oh."

Old Woman

Vanessa O'Connor,
Homemaker
"What do I care what Congress does with their money?"

Asian Man

Dan Eckert,
Electrician
"This is a return to the Reagan Era, when bombs came before the poor. It's time to reunite my '80s hardcore punk band, Critical Truth."

Old Man

Richard Kent,
Systems Analyst
"Hopefully, the Pentagon will justify this massive spending outlay by buying some really cool shit."

Black Man

Peter Lyght,
Civil Engineer
"So, do I get a $300 check this year? No? Bush is such an asshole."

Young Man

Bob Nowell,
Contractor
"Let us not lose sight of the most important thing here: bombsbombsbombsbombs- bombsbombsbombsbombs- bombsbombsbombsbombs, KABLOOMA!"

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