The Return Of Mad Cow
Mad-cow disease is once again sweeping Europe, prompting renewed fears on this side of the Atlantic, including a New York-area recall of Mamba, a candy that contains beef gelatin. What do you think?
Matt Maldonado,
Bartender
"So long as Mallo Cups remain untainted, I care little about this."
Oscar Kinnard,
Systems Analyst
"Now I can finally unload all this mad-cow-related merchandise."
Victoria Ewart,
Legal Secretary
"Mad Cow? Isn't that the guy on the Z-106 Morning Nuthouse? I always knew there was something wrong with him."
Warren Hough,
Civil Engineer
"People are overlooking an important aspect of this crisis: Have you actually seen a cow staggering around drooling? It's hilarious."
Benjamin Ruff,
Machinist
"Does this candy knock children unconscious for an hour or so? Oh. Never mind, then."
Susan Royce,
Hairstylist
"Germany is being forced to slaughter 400,000 cattle. Luckily, they're pretty good at that sort of thing."
