The Tyson Reinstatement
Last week, a team of psychologists declared boxer Mike Tyson–suspended by the Nevada State Athletic Commission last year for biting off a piece of Evander Holyfield's ear–"troubled" but fit to fight. What do you think about Tyson's bid for reinstatement?
Amanda Petry,
Legal Secretary
"I'm still not convinced that Tyson has the emotional and mental stability necessary to pummel the shit out of somebody."
Danielle Garbey,
School Psychologist
"Tyson just hasn't been the same since that one time he was born."
Chris Rozema,
Sales Consultant
"If the commission refuses to reinstate Tyson I'm sure he'll be happy to return to his first love: sexual assault."
Jonathan Brookens,
Systems Analyst
"Tyson should be allowed to box only if he truthfully answers one question: Why'd he fuck Joey?"
Tony Wilcox,
Surgeon
"Tyson was provoked by Holyfield. The videotape clearly shows Holyfield hitting him."
Jerry Lopez,
Mathematician
"That guy? He's nuts. I don't care what anybody says–that Freeman Dyson is one whacked-out physicist if he thinks anyone will ever construct a mobile artificial planet."
