The Definition Of Sex
President Clinton reportedly told Monica Lewinsky during an alleged tryst that oral sex does not count as sexual relations. What do you think about the definition of sex?
Larry Yates,
Systems Analyst
"Recently, my wife accused me of cheating on her. But once I explained to her that this woman just sucked me off until I shot my load all over her dress, she was totally relieved."
Anne Osrow,
Art Historian
"I think of sex as that horrible and disgusting act I had to go through to produce my precious son Kevin."
Rick Tonelli,
Photographer
"I don't understand why Clinton is getting so much heat in the press. I mean, people fuck Jews all the time."
Patrick Croydon,
Electrician
"This definition thing could get way out of hand. For instance, if you're going to count genital-anal contact, that means I have sex with my dog, for chrissakes."
Valerie Joyner,
Student
"Sex is when daddy puts his hot dog in mommy's bun. At least, that's what my husband told me."
Ben Staunton,
Food Vendor
"For me, sex can be the flutter of a woman's eyelashes. Or the rustling of her skirt. Or leaves moving gently in the breeze. Or a discarded soda cup. Or a bit of string."
