Secret Service Under The Gun
In a move many fear will jeopardize future presidential security, independent counsel Kenneth Starr has subpoenaed Secret Service personnel to testify before the Monica Lewinsky grand jury. What do you think about the Secret Service breaking its code of presidential silence?
Gilbert Morris,
Teacher
"We should be worrying about health care and the economy, not whether the president had sex with some Secret Service agents."
Eileen Simms,
Orthopedic Surgeon
"I feel they definitely should protect the Secret Sauce. If that got out, Lord knows what would happen."
Richard Bavaro,
Systems Analyst
"I think the Secret Service should be called to testify about the activities of former president Carter. God knows what hideous things go on down there in Plains, GA."
Duane Banks,
Landscaper
"Believe me—the Secret Service isn't telling everything they know, man. I've read enough Robert Anton Wilson to know that much."
Vanessa McConkey,
Caterer
"People say making them testify will compromise the president's safety, or even national security. But to hell with that: We need to know if President Clinton had naughty sex."
Randall Taylor,
Electrician
"I was talkin' with this one Secret Service guy at a rally for Charles Palantine, and he really understood me. He understood how much we need a real rain to wash all the scum off the streets."
