Teen Smoking On The Rise
Despite the recent passage of numerous laws prohibiting tobacco manufacturers from marketing to minors, last week it was reported that teen smoking is on the rise in the U.S. What do you think?
Gina Revering,
Systems Analyst
"I don't understand why teen smoking is up. Haven't we made it clear to kids that smoking is a dangerous, forbidden thing meant for older people?"
Stu Colavito,
Mechanical Engineer
"I stopped smoking when I realized I could get one of those cool tracheotomy voice boxes without having cancer."
Tony Fuller,
Bookstore Owner
"If anyone should be smoking, it's kids. You never hear about them dying of lung cancer."
Todd Pollack,
Dietitian
"Perhaps Nancy Reagan could sit down and talk to these kids."
Iris Diamondopoulis,
Teacher
"As a public educator, I'm at a loss to explain this. Do you think the hip posters, the 'totally rad' anti-smoking sock hops and Dobie The Don't Smoke Donkey are having some sort of negative effect?"
Zachary Roth,
Florist
"These statistics are misleading. The higher rate of teen smoking is merely a symptom of the higher rate of teen fucking."
