The Onion

The Arrival Of Digital Television

April 22, 1998 | Issue 33•15

Digital television is being touted as the next big big breakthrough in home-entertainment technology, offering viewers hundreds of channels without a satellite dish. What do you think?

Wimpy Guy

Victor Ryan,
Legal Secretary
"Great! Now I can have CD-quality sound and a crystal-clear picture for my SeaQuest reruns."

Guy With Sunglasses

Robert Thon,
Salesman
"Speaking of which, don't go into the bathroom. I just laid some high-quality cable of my own in there."

Blonde Girl

Marci Howe,
Violinist
"I have long wondered what treasures lie beyond Channel 117, and soon I shall find out."

Minority Guy

Matt CedeƱo,
Caterer
"If I don't need a roof-mounted satellite dish any more, how will my neighbors know that I have 300 channels?"

Girl With Glasses

Christine Cruz,
Systems Analyst
"It's about time. There hasn't been a major technological advance in this country in weeks."

Other Guy

Stephen Richard,
Electrician
"I liked TV better back when there were only a couple of channels, and you had to watch Barney Miller."

Cut-and-paste

Include:

Preview

Copy and paste this code into a new post in Blogger, MySpace, or any other blog tool. It will display this Onion headline, picture, and teaser copy on your page, depending on what you select above.

It's up to you to write the rest of the blog post.

 

Text This Headline

 

Powered by TeleFlip use to email to any cell phone

  • Print
  • blog this
  • StumbleUpon
  • Reddit
  • digg this

Personal of the Day