The Declining Crime Rate
It was announced last week that the U.S. crime rate is down for the seventh year in a row, falling to its lowest level since 1985. What do you think about this decline in American violence?
Michael Field,
Systems Analyst
"As an upper-middle-class suburbanite, I'll just have to take your word for it."
Andre Coleman,
Investment Advisor
"I attribute this drop to the nationwide crackdown on casual marijuana users. Thank God those evil fiends are locked up."
Stephanie Wilmot,
Student
"Does this have anything to do with the recent reclassification of drive-by shootings as traffic violations?"
Larry Brodt,
Carpet Salesman
"You know what else has been declining for seven straight years? The number of women who want to sleep with carpet salesman Larry Brodt, that's fucking what."
Elaine Holcomb,
Homemaker
"Let's give credit where credit is due. Thank you, Meadowlark Lemon."
Arthur Morales,
Cashier
"Crime is down? Hey, man, don't look at me."
