The Onion

The First Gay Bishop

August 13, 2003 | Issue 39•31

The Rev. V. Gene Robinson recently won confirmation as the first openly gay bishop in the Episcopal Church, prompting protests and walk-outs. What do you think?

Black Man

Ryan Reiff,
Systems Analyst
"Now that the church has been compassionate and reasonable about this, people are going to expect that all the time."

Asian Man

Carlos Ferebee,
Welder
"Among the greatest mysteries of faith are why God allows people to die, why evil exists, and why the hell some gay guy would want to be bishop."

Young Man

Larry Cody,
Cook
"Isn't worrying about God stuff all the time kind of gay anyway?"

Old Woman

Marjorie Moyers,
Bookkeeper
"What's next? Black ministers?"

Old Man

Joseph Bogan,
Tax Examiner
"Whoa, that church has really gone downhill since forming the ecclesiastical body with their own episcopate in 1789."

Young Woman

Katherine Millard,
Musician
"Since when is it a crime to be gay? Oh, yeah. Up until a few weeks ago. Well, it's not anymore. Get with it."

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