The Onion

Canadian Prescription Drugs

August 20, 2003 | Issue 39•32

Major drug manufacturers are attempting to stop Canadian pharmacies from selling discounted prescription drugs to Americans. What do you think?

Old Woman

Caroline Lenhart,
Transcriptionist
"Look, Canada, stick to exporting that maple-sugar candy of yours. We'll take care of the obscenely expensive prescription drugs."

Young Man

Terry Yoder,
Solderer
"Man, I got some primo Nexium when I was up in Vancouver last year."

Old Man

Phillip Settle,
Systems Analyst
"Canada has already given us the best medicine—laughter. Thank you, Ottawa's Dan Aykroyd, for everything."

Asian Man

Nicholas Perez,
Paramedic
"Gay marriage, legal weed, and cheaper prescription drugs? Next they'll have donkeys painted like zebras, too."

Young Woman

Allison Burke,
Auditing Clerk
"I want to see these senior citizens jailed. I mean, I actually want to see them in the jail."

Black Man

Jacob Harmon,
CEO
"As CEO of Abbott Laboratories, I think Americans should consider themselves lucky they're getting our medicine at all."

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