The Onion

The Ban On Travel To Cuba

September 17, 2003 | Issue 39•36

The House of Representatives recently voted to end the decades-old restriction prohibiting travel to Cuba. What do you think?

Old Man

Charlie Todd,
Financial Examiner
"But if we impose sanctions for just one more year, we could still win the Cold War."

Old Woman

Mary Regan,
Appraiser
"What flake thought up this stupid bill? Oh, U.S. Rep. Jeff Flake (R-AZ)."

Black Man

Porter Mason,
Podiatrist
"Tom DeLay claims lifting restrictions will support Fidel's 'thugocracy.' And who would know better than an elected Thugocrat?"

Asian Man

David Berman,
Paramedic
"Our country should not recognize the tyrant Castro until the land that belonged to the tyrant Batista is returned to its rightful mob owners."

Young Woman

Jane Borden,
Systems Analyst
"Making Cuba accessible to Americans would encourage reforms there, as it did in the once-oppressive republics of the Bahamas, Aruba, and South Padre Island."

Young Man

Rob Webber,
Sales Agent
"We all know imposing sanctions doesn't work. It seems our only option is to strike now."

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