Military Sex Scandals
In the past year, several military officers have been involved in major sex scandals, ranging from adultery to sexual assault. What do you think about sex and the military?
Randall Farber,
Private First Class
"After a night of lovemaking with a female recruit, I honorably discharged my semen all over her tits."
Christine Forrester,
Math Teacher
"What did these women think would happen, parading around in front of their commanding officers every day—right, left, right, left, right,
left...?"
Alvin Buchwald,
Midshipman
"The real problem here is the uniform--It's like a chick magnet, man."
Ed Delessandro,
Corporal
"I once had sex in the military, but my sergeant said it was okay, since I killed the gook bitch afterwards."
Leo Orff,
Lieutenant, USM (Ret.)
"You people don't understand! There was a war on! It was rape or be raped! You can't imagine the horror!"
Janet Meyerson,
Systems Analyst
"This has been a problem ever since Bill Murray gave M.P. P.J. Soles the infamous 'Aunt Jemima Treatment.'"
