The Onion

Heroin Chic

June 4, 1997 | Issue 31•20

President Clinton spoke out last week against "heroin chic," the glamorization of heroin use through fashion ads depicting emaciated, strung-out-looking models. What do you think?

Girl With Glasses

Sheila Cobb,
Systems Analyst
"We need to educate young people about the dangers of heroin. For example, don't buy from my uncle, because he cuts it with roach paste."

Guy With Sunglasses

Roy Lofton,
Stock Broker
"You know who's a real heroine? Bette Midler, that's who."

Other Guy

Theo Buscell,
Legal Secretary
"Ever since I started looking lifeless and emaciated, my popularity has soared. Thanks, AIDS!"

Wimpy Guy

Chris Auletta,
Optometrist
"I'm still waiting for my Boy Scout-impaling habit to become chic."

Minority Guy

Ryan Sorghum,
Dairy Farmer
"I think Clinton might really learn to like heroin if he just got addicted to it."

Blonde Girl

Candace Royer,
Science Teacher
"Why do the young kids enjoy so much the heroin and the close dancing and the iron-on patches? Why can't they join a church group and play 'Stardust' on the organ to nursing home patients?"

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