The Onion

The FDR Memorial

May 7, 1997 | Issue 31•17

The new Franklin Delano Roosevelt Memorial, dedicated last Friday in Washington, D.C., has come under fire for not depicting him in a wheelchair. What do you think?

Other Guy

Andy Noonan,
Graphic Designer
"I don't know if the wheelchair would increase the monument's dignity, but it sure would increase its humor value. Cripples are hilarious!"

Blonde Girl

Lisa Proehl,
Orthopedic Surgeon
"Without FDR my feminine odor would be out of control."

Wimpy Guy

Randy Innis,
Botanist
"Why must the new statue hide the truth? Can't it show FDR's nurse helping him on with his underwear?"

Girl With Glasses

Brenda Sorensen,
Systems Analyst
"This is Washington, D.C. If they put wheels on that thing, they'd be gone in 60 seconds."

Guy With Sunglasses

Dennis Farron,
Police Officer
"I'm still angry the Jefferson Memorial didn't depict him banging his slaves."

Minority Guy

Reggie Yeager,
Cab Driver
"Would the FDR in a wheelchair statue be able to talk like the Christopher Reeve statue I saw on Barbara Walters?"

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