The Onion

Chinese Human-Rights Abuses

November 11, 1997 | Issue 32•15

Sparked by Chinese Premier Jiang Zemin's recent visit to America, many are calling for the U.S. government to refuse trade with China until it improves its human-rights record. What do you think?

Girl With Glasses

Risa Sharp,
Waitress
"Do you realize that in China, those found guilty of murder are often put to death? The U.S. should not conduct business with such a country."

Other Guy

Edward Szold,
Systems Analyst
"We shouldn't interfere with cultures we don't understand. Perhaps, in China, impaling student protestors on sewage-encrusted bamboo stakes is a way of showing respect."

Minority Guy

Mitchell Orff,
Ornithologist
"If we were to cruelly deny the Chinese the great taste of Diet Coke via trade sanctions, we would be no better than them."

Guy With Sunglasses

Randy Ulrich,
Gardener
"All I know is, if I have to listen to 'China Grove' on Classic Rock 101.5 one more time, I'm gonna file a human-rights complaint."

Blonde Girl

Liz Crandall,
Student
"The Chinese who work at the Rice Bowl restaurant are guilty of severe hunan-rights abuse. I ordered this dish without water chestnuts."

Wimpy Guy

Ben Rublowsky,
Lawyer
"I don't think it's right that the Chinese should be allowed to meddle in the affairs of humans."

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