The Onion

Smoking And The Movies

September 2, 1997 | Issue 32•05

The Clinton Administration recently took Hollywood to task for the rise in on-screen portrayals of smoking. What do you think about cigarettes and cinema?

Blonde Girl

Sharon Wayne,
Speech Pathologist
"If people see characters smoking in movies, it's only a matter of time before we start to see people smoking in real life."

Guy With Sunglasses

Matt Reiderer,
Construction Worker
"I say, down with smoking, and up with gender- positive portrayals of anthropomorphic squirrels in animated musicals."

Wimpy Guy

David Pinsky,
Orthodontist
"I started smoking at age 13 after seeing my Uncle Abe's glamorous portrayal of smoking in my Bar Mitzvah video."

Minority Guy

Chet Billups,
Systems Analyst
"Doesn't anyone know those are just prop cigarettes used in the movies?"

Girl With Glasses

Adrienne Elson,
Guidance Counselor
"Hollywood needs a few more people like Kevin Costner, who in 1995's Waterworld took a rare, heroic stand against the evil Smokers."

Other Guy

Paul Dougan,
Realtor
"Movies need to stop entertaining and start educating."

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