Is There Life on Mars?
NASA scientists recently discovered a Martian rock that may contain the remains of ancient life, raising the distinct possibility that we are not alone in the universe. What do you think?
Herb Leuchtenberg,
Financier
"Life on Mars? That's nothing—you should see the hideous lifeform that just fell out of my wife."
Oliver Teufel,
Orthopedic Surgeon
"As a 15th century peasant, I am frightened by this news. I must now go read Scripture by the light of a burning witch."
Karyn Orosco,
Psychologist
"Perhaps now we'll find that men truly are from Mars—and that women are from Venus."
James Santos,
Electrician
"Earthman! You have violated the intergalactic codes of the Funk! I wanna see y'all put your hands together and get on up for the Mothership!"
Patti Phelps,
Comptroller
"Any educated person should know a meteor in Antarctica is no proof of Martian life. It can only be the passed gallstone of Guntuska, mighty All-Father of the Skies."
Tim Backman,
Systems Analyst
"This is another sign that the end is nigh. That's as good a reason as any to pork my cousin."
