mobile edition

At the AV Club: AVQ&A

Business

Philip Morris Under Fire

September 11, 1996 | Issue 30•05

With statistics showing teen smoking greatly on the rise, the federal government is taking aim at tobacco companies, proposing legislation limiting them to text-only ads in youth-oriented publications and banning cigarette billboards near public schools. What do you think?

Guy With Sunglasses

Duane Leary,
Systems Analyst
"I understand the dangers of teen smoking and all that stuff. That's why I make my kids smoke in the kitchen."

Other Guy

Dave Reiderer,
Librarian
"I want to do what's right for my kid, but Timmy would miss his favorite Saturday morning Fox cartoon, FilterKing and the NicoTeens of the Cigaverse."

Minority Guy

George Espinoza,
File Clerk
"People are too easily influenced by bright, flashy ad campaigns featuring cute characters like Joe Camel. Once, I freebased an entire bottle of Toilet Duck."

Girl With Glasses

Laurie Goodson,
School Psychologist
"Man, the next thing you know, you'll have to be 18 just to buy the damn things."

Blonde Girl

Emily Hastings,
Floral Arranger
"I think they should ban those Pringles ads with the guy dancing."

Wimpy Guy

Jeff Biederman,
Plumber
"No, we don't want teens to smoke. They're so lovable in their huge trousers and grubby shirts and bowl haircuts. No, we wouldn't want them to die horribly of lung cancer."

Cut-and-paste

Include:

Preview

Copy and paste this code into a new post in Blogger, MySpace, or any other blog tool. It will display this Onion headline, picture, and teaser copy on your page, depending on what you select above.

It's up to you to write the rest of the blog post.

 

Text This Headline

 

Powered by TeleFlip use to email to any cell phone

  • Print
  • blog this
  • StumbleUpon
  • Reddit
  • digg this

Meet Other Onion Readers

more personals »