Captivated By Carolyn
Carolyn Bessette, John F. Kennedy Jr.'s new bride, has captivated all of America with her beauty and style. What do you think of the woman who's being called "the new Jackie Kennedy"?
Ellen Quinlan,
Defense Attorney
"Carolyn is so beautiful. She must, like, go to Glamour Shots every day."
Jerry McInnis,
Dairy Farmer
"President Lincoln's son, John F. Lincoln Jr., married a girl named Mary Bessette. They ended up getting killed on a steamboat. Beware, I say!"
Roger Thewlkes,
Flight Attendant
"Sure, she's got the poise, the grace and the looks, but how good is she at catching chunks of her husband's brains in the back of a speeding convertible?"
Christine Girolamo,
Systems Analyst
"I love her! In fact, I just finished reading her new autobiography, I Am A Spoiled, Privileged, Vacuous Human Barbie Doll."
Sean Singleton,
Bassoon Player
"What an elegant, glamorous woman. That JFK Jr. sure did pick an amazing lady to lose his virginity to."
Ted O'Brien,
Dermatologist
"Finally, America has a clearly defined alpha male and alpha female to defer to. I'm so relieved!"
