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At the AV Club: Best Music Of The '00s

Entertainment

Can Celebrities Get A Fair Trial?

January 28, 2004 | Issue 40•04

The inability to find jurors unfamiliar with Martha Stewart has raised concerns that celebrities cannot receive a fair trial. What do you think?

Young Woman

Jen Craig-Greenman,
Paralegal
"So a bunch of famous people got arrested, and all of a sudden we're worried about fair trials?"

Old Woman

Janice Parks,
Title Examiner
"Except for their incredibly well-funded legal-defense teams, these stars are on their own."

Young Man

Joey Reid,
Cleaner
"I hope celebrities can get a fair trial in this country. God knows they can't get decent service."

Asian Man

Lee Daniels,
Cook
"May I remind you that I am not on trial here?! Sorry. I just love saying that."

Old Man

Harold Johnston,
CEO
"To ensure a fair trial, the judge should present the evidence with Gretchen Mol standing in for the defendant."

Black Man

Timothy Bates,
Systems Analyst
"Oh, great. If I somehow manage to avoid 20 years of Cheers and Frasier, my reward is a jury seat at Kelsey Grammer's child-murder trial?"

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