Yeltsin's Failing Health
Russian President Boris Yeltsin's questionable physical condition has been the subject of much discussion lately, reaching a fever pitch with last week's announcement that he is too weak to undergo a heart operation. What do you think about his poor health?
Laurence Grieg,
Financial Planner
"My grandpa got sick and old and died. You don't think the same thing could happen to Yeltsin, do you?"
Walt Huber,
City Councilman
"Maybe the U.S. could send him some coloring books to cheer him up."
Cheryl Coogan,
Gaffer
"The rising popularity of the Russian folk song, 'Where is Yeltsin? Is He In the Cupboard?' is indicative of these troubled times."
Bill Kent,
Tax Attorney
"I only wish I'd responded to his letters and answered his calls. Now the poor man's dying of a broken heart."
Lenore Post,
Systems Analyst
"As one of Russia's top physicians, I'd recommend Yeltsin reduce his beef intake to four giant helpings a day."
Peter Frankowicz,
Housesitter
"USA! USA! Hey, if Yeltsin doesn't like it here, he can fuckin' move to Russia."
