The Onion

Colorado Football Under Fire

February 25, 2004 | Issue 40•08

In a growing scandal, several women have charged that they were raped by football players at the University of Colorado. What do you think?

Old Woman

Pamela King,
Florist
"This is going to negatively affect the entire Colorado athletic department. I wish people would think before they let the rape

Asian Man

Eric Scott,
AV Technician
"See? See? One breast is flashed at a football game and the whole sport goes into the gutter."

Young Woman

Anna Baker,
Bill Collector
"This is what happens when you tell people to give 110 percent."

Young Man

Anthony Benkes,
Athlete
"As an athlete, all I can say is that all this sex talk is making me want to go rape someone."

Black Man

Joshua Hall,
Systems Analyst
"I heard that some Colorado Buffaloes raped some women and was absolutely horrified. But it turned out it's the name of their fo

Old Man

Gregory Carter,
Orchestrator
"What happened to the good old days of college football, when you never heard about things like this happening, even though they

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