The Onion

National Cyber Security

April 28, 2004 | Issue 40•17

The Department of Homeland Security recently identified a serious Internet security flaw that could leave the web vulnerable to hackers. What do you think?

Old Woman

Lois Foster,
Training Specialist
"If someone can take down the Internet, our nation stands in grave danger of being massively inconvenienced."

Asian Man

Roy Benjamin,
Manager
"The danger is evident. We must post tanks at the entrances to all cyber cafes immediately."

Black Man

Sean Hughes,
Systems Analyst
"We're safe, unless the hacker community finds out about this."

Old Man

Aaron Brookings,
Family Practitioner
"Hmm. Maybe outsourcing all those programming jobs to Afghanistan was a bad idea, after all."

Young Woman

Lori Simmons,
Dancer
"The terrorists have already put an end to free music downloads. What's next?"

Young Man

Russ Ward,
Deliveryman
"My God! What would we do if there was no Internet? Go back to watching television?"

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