The Onion

Should Rumsfeld Resign?

May 26, 2004 | Issue 40•21

As the investigation into abuses at Abu Ghraib prison continues, some Americans are urging Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld to step down. What do you think?

Black Man

Gary Harless,
Systems Analyst
"Donald Rumsfeld can't be held responsible for the misdeeds of every last soldier who obeys his orders."

Old Woman

Karen Heck,
Saleswoman
"Firing Rumsfeld is unnecessary. If we demote him to Secretary of Health and Human Services for a while, he'll fall into line."

Young Woman

Tammy Hainzlsperger,
Botanist
"If anyone has the balls to fire Rumsfeld, I say go ahead."

Asian Man

Michael Paulson,
Machinist
"Making Rumsfeld resign would be wrong, what with him being pregnant and all."

Young Man

Joshua Anderson,
Clerk
"Rumsfeld should be replaced with one of those peace-loving hackysack-kicking hippies that serve as his undersecretaries."

Old Man

Richard Gehl,
Trial Lawyer
"Look, if we start by holding one member of Bush's administration responsible for his actions, where's it all gonna end?"

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