The Onion

Tenet's Resignation

June 9, 2004 | Issue 40•23

CIA Director George Tenet resigned last week, claiming that the decision was "personal" and unconnected to recent controversies. What do you think?

Old Man

Kristopher Williams,
Software Engineer
"'Resign' is such an ugly word. Let's just agree to say that he was 'fired.'"

Young Man

David Polster,
Clerk
"I know how he feels. I resigned from Pizza Hut for personal reasons after I got caught with 10 pounds of frozen Italian sausage in my backpack."

Asian Man

Joseph Spagnolia,
Cleaner
"It's too bad he has to go, but if it'll prevent Sept. 11 from ever having happened, I'm all for it."

Old Woman

Ilene Nash,
Jeweler
"I guess now we just sit back and wait until Tenet commits suicide by shooting himself multiple times in the back of the head."

Black Man

James Morse,
Systems
Analyst

"It's no surprise Tenet resigned for personal reasons, considering the strain he was under overseeing the CIA, attending night classes, and raising six kids all by himself."

Young Woman

Mary Myers,
Teacher Assistant
"He put in seven years, and for what? A brass plaque that's actually a camera, and a gold watch that kills people."

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