The Onion

Private Space Travel

June 23, 2004 | Issue 40•25

Monday's SpaceShipOne flight could usher in an age of privately financed space travel. What do you think?

Old Man

Michael Ellis,
Systems Analyst
"If they develop a private space-travel vehicle, it'd better have some decent space-wireless access for my space-business-traveler needs."

Asian Man

Wayne Kupstis,
Landscaper
"There's already a flag on the moon, right? Might as well put a Wal-Mart behind that one, too."

Young Man

Richard Gettier,
Waiter
"Is this part of that Bush Mars plan that he mentioned, like, once?"

Old Woman

LeeAnn Misek,
Writer
"I suppose the flight is ushering in a new era of some sort that could change the way we view space travel, I guess."

Black Man

Chad Devore,
Pharmacist
"I can hear the radio transmission now. 'Outback Steakhouse, your place for steaks and family fun, we have a problem.'"

Young Woman

Maryann Lahr,
Business Owner
"Hey, any idea that involves blasting the wealthiest .01 percent of the population into the cold, lifeless vacuum of space is all right by me."

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