The Onion

Gay Marriage In San Francisco

August 18, 2004 | Issue 40•33

Last week, California's Supreme Court voided about 4,000 same-sex marriages performed by the mayor of San Francisco earlier this year. What do you think?

Old Man

Michael Harlson,
Banker
"The court struck every single one down? Well, that makes the failure rate for gay marriages almost double that of straight marriages."

Black Man

Mark Jacobsen,
Systems Analyst
"Oh... well... oh, geez. I'm no good at talking about all this mushy stuff."

Young Woman

Kathleen Hayes,
Teacher
"In addition to being overturned legally, were these marriages officially annulled in the eyes of God? If not, these people could be condemned to hell!"

Old Woman

Jan Gorman,
Choreographer
"I had five weddings to attend in October, but now it's only three. That doesn't seem like much less, but believe me, it really helps."

Asian Man

Charles Lopez,
Driver
"Did you hear this, Rod and Keenan? I want those wine glasses back!"

Young Man

Chris Gerber,
Dishwasher
"Just to clarify, sodomy's still legal, isn't it? Well, all right then."

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