The Graying Of America's Prisons
As a result of the crime boom of the '70s and '80s, experts are predicting an explosion in the number of elderly prisoners in the coming decades. What do you think?
Marianne Anders,
Math Teacher
"I'll tell you one upside to this: Jailbreaks and riots will take on more of a comical, pathetic quality."
Freddie Payton,
Veterinarian
"She's never been to jail, but my grandmother is a prisoner in her own home. No way am I taking her out for walks."
Marty Santana,
Systems Analyst
"I've been in prison for over 60 years. But do I complain? No! I'm fit as a fiddle, thanks to my Jack LaLanne juicer and a daily regimen of shower-room anal rape."
Elyse Reuschel,
School Psychologist
"I heard that Roddy The Weasel, the top man in cell block 15-B, just broke his hip."
Chet Reid,
Civil Engineer
"If they're really, really old, you can just stick them in some room and tell them it's jail."
Milt Worrell,
Safety Inspector
"Lefty's doing time in Sing Sing, see, because he took the fall for Moishe, see? We're going to bust him out, see? Then we're going to put the kibosh on DeSantoni's gang."
