The Onion

Red Sox Break Curse

November 3, 2004 | Issue 40•44

Last week, the Boston Red Sox defeated the St. Louis Cardinals in the World Series, breaking a "curse" that has persisted since 1918. What do you think?

Black Man

Allen Palmer,
Systems Analyst
"So the curse only lasted 86 years, huh? I guess the ol' Bambino wasn't as powerful a necromancer as we thought."

Young Woman

Lacey Swain,
Chiropractor
"It's good to know that the World Series isn't just about which team has the highest payroll. The Red Sox are proof that you can spend the second most and still become champions."

Asian Man

Jesse Ramos,
Repairman
"This should bring hope to our military, which has not won a decisive victory in almost 60 years."

Old Woman

Edna Crawford,
Biochemist
"The curse is broken. Alas, my own curse, the one which exists for all women since Eve's fall, persists to this very day."

Young Man

Tony Mills,
Construction Worker
"Wow. Does this mean baseball can end now?"

Old Man

Bryan Warren,
Civil Engineer
"I've been rooting for the Sox for the past 20 years, but I finally gave up hope on them this season. I was expecting them to lose, so they managed to let me down again."

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