The Onion

The Republican Majority

November 10, 2004 | Issue 40•45

Last week, Bush became the first Republican president to be re-elected with House and Senate majorities since 1924. What do you think?

Old Woman

Beverly Banks,
Systems
Analyst

"So they still control the House, Senate, and Oval Office? Well, at least we still have the smug, condescending attitude that cost us the election in the first place."

Asian Man

Edgar Mendez,
Data Keyer
"Our nation may be bitterly divided, but at least our government can agree on being ultra-conservative."

Young Man

Sam Howell,
Credit Checker
"What's so bad about this? Could some Democrat explain it to me in under an hour, without starting to scream or cry?"

Black Man

Ted Jacobs,
Dentist
"Now that the Republicans run Congress, the White House, and soon the Supreme Court, they'll just have to invent some new branches of government to dominate, as well."

Old Man

Leo Watts,
Custom Tailor
"The fact that 48 percent of Americans voted for a boring placeholder like John Kerry is actually a really good sign for the Left."

Young Woman

Erika Williamson,
Interior Designer
"Hold on. I'm being text-messaged orders from my Republican congressman on how to proceed next. Put clothes in dryer? Yes, Rep. Burchardt."

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