The Kmart-Sears Merger
Last week, Kmart bought Sears in a surprise $11 billion deal, creating the nation's third-largest retailer. What do you think?
Etta Newkirk,
Radiation Therapist
"It's about time a serious heavyweight challenged Wal-Mart's position as the most depressing place on earth."
Chester Hoyt,
Systems Analyst
"As a major purchaser of lawn shit, I'm as happy as I let myself get."
Javier DeKalb,
Winch Operator
"Does this mean the Sears Tower will be repurposed for Kmart? Just think how awesome a giant red neon "K" is gonna look up there on the top of that mamma jamma!"
Leo Nevins,
Biologist
"I'm glad I no longer have to choose between Kmart and Sears. It often made things very uncomfortable."
F.W. Woolworth IV,
Financier
"I'm gonna love the look on their faces when I announce that I, F.W. Woolworth IV, am relaunching the trusted Woolworth name!"
Alicia Bergen,
Broadcast Technician
"But... I just want a new dish brush..."
