The Onion

WTO May Accept Russia

May 18, 2005 | Issue 41•20

If negotiations go smoothly, Russia may be invited to join the World Trade Organization in 2006. What do you think?

Old Woman

Joy Hess,
Systems Analyst
"It's amazing that, with an economy that large, Russia isn't already in the WTO. Is it because they only import stolen cars and export mail-order brides?"

Asian Man

Clinton Chan,
Clerk
"After all the bullshit they put James Bond through, those Russians have a lot of nerve expecting us to become their trade allies."

Young Man

Ken Dorsey,
Logger
"Does this mean cheaper vodka? Because, honestly, that's the last thing I need."

Black Man

Joe Roach,
Editor
"I'm starting my own Joe's Trade Organization, and it would be a real feather in my cap to snag Russia first."

Old Man

Neil Hood,
Police Chief
"Allowing a country like Russia to join the organization would make a mockery of whatever it is the WTO stands for."

Young Woman

Allison Church,
Midwife
"Why is this an issue? Evil Communist Russians have been a part of the WWE since the '80s."

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