The Onion

Gaza Pullout

August 24, 2005 | Issue 41•34

In an effort to reinvigorate the Middle East peace process, Israel fulfilled its pledge and withdrew from the Gaza Strip. What do you think?

Old Man

William McGeveren,
Radio Announcer
"An end to over three decades of savage bloodshed over a tiny, ugly parcel of land... This is truly a sad day in the history of

Young Woman

Elizabeth Barden,
Astronomer
"Tell me they at least kept those beautiful, beautiful concrete demarcation walls up—they did? Oh, thank God."

Old Woman

Cassandra L. Capo,
Preschool Teacher
"See, I knew that if the Palestinians ignored the Israelis for long enough, they'd go away."

Asian Man

Ramzi al-Yuusuf,
Realtor
"A Gaza home is affordable and can be yours! Contact me, Ramzi al-Yuusuf, at Hamas Realty, 08-636-8871."

Black Man

Jay Jaffe,
Data-Entry Specialist
"I just can't believe that spineless peacenik Sharon knuckled under so quickly."

Young Man

Martin Kenney Jr.,
Systems Analyst
"Jesus, Joseph, and Mary, just tell me if it's good or bad this is happening, because I'm too goddamned confused by the last 30

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