The Onion

Bush Tearfully Addresses Nation After Watching Field Of Dreams

September 7, 2005 | Issue 41•36

WASHINGTON, DC—Moments after watching a TNT afternoon showing of the 1989 sports tearjerker Field Of Dreams Sunday, a visibly moved President Bush interrupted national television broadcasts to address the nation. "My fellow Americans, I am telling you, we all must see this movie together," said a moist-eyed Bush, whose voice broke several times during the address. "I don't usually cry during movies, but... well, when I bought the Texas Rangers, I had hoped baseball could bring me and my dad together, but he was always too busy being president, and he's getting up there now, and... America just really needs to see this movie, is all." Two-thirds of Americans polled said they would not watch the film with the president, complaining that Bush tries to recite every line along with the movie, and always says, "Wasn't that great?" after his favorite parts.

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