The Onion

Friday, September 16, 2005

iPod Nano

Apple recently introduced yet another new iPod, a wafer-thin, flash-based unit that marks the fifth product generation for the popular player. What do you think?

Old Man

Gerald Fictner,
Systems Analyst
"At last, after years of false hope and empty promises, I can finally shove 1,000 songs up my ass."

Old Woman

Rhonda Harkness,
Textile Designer
"As a maker of custom iPod cases, sleeves, and belt clips, I'd just like to say: Goddammit! Slow the fuck down!"

Asian Man

Kalmon Hubbard,
Currently Unemployed
"Excuse me? The first two floors of my house are still underwater? Hello? Has anyone seen my wife?"

All American Voices

Personal of the Day