The Onion

Tuesday, October 4, 2005

IRA Disarmament

The Irish Republican Army, working with an independent international commission, claims to have destroyed all its weapons stockpiles. What do you think?

Black Man

Harvey Ulrich,
Policeman
"I knew that Guns For Guinness trade-in program would work where so many other attempts had failed."

Old Woman

May Voyle,
Systems Analyst
"Finally, the Protestants and Catholics have found a common ground to bring them together. Now, if only they could team up to do something about all those filthy stinking Irishmen."

Old Man

John O'Donohu,
CPA
"Well, it's just as well. Political terrorism isn't as sexy as it was in the '80s."

All American Voices

Personal of the Day