The Onion

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

L.A. Catholic Priest Scandal

The Roman Catholic Archdiocese of Los Angeles released records showing that known child-molesting priests were often allowed to continue practicing their ministry, or simply transferred to other parishes in the diocese. What do you think?

Young Woman

Allison Wrightman,
Nursery Operator
"These priests really need to read the entirety of St. Augustine's Confessions and not just the sex parts."

Asian Man

Francis Colman,
Alderman
"That would explain the unusually high Sunday school grades that have been handed out over the last 30 years."

Young Man

Evan Swaney,
Systems Analyst
"Well, it's like Jesus said: ‘Whenever two men come together as one all over an altar boy's back in My name, there is My Church.'"

All American Voices

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