The Onion

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

Reading Incomprehension

Recent standardized-test scores show that, while American students' math scores are acceptable, their reading comprehension is unsatisfactory. What do you think?

Young Man

Phillip Gordon,
Plastics Engineer
"Great, now I have to get my kid some reading DVDs."

Young Woman

Nicole Shustat,
Telephone Sales
"Well, of course reading's stagnated. Today's kids are single-series readers of either Harry Potter or the Bible, depending on the family."

Asian Man

Adrian Cole,
Importer
"Who needs to read when you're doing data entry for the Chinese?"

All American Voices

Personal of the Day