The Onion

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

FEMA Cuts Off Evacuees

FEMA recently announced that, at the end of the month, they will to stop paying for hurricane evacuees' hotel rooms. What do you think?

Young Man

Mark Osborne,
Tinsmith
"Well, yeah. They've had, what, eight or nine weeks to build new houses?"

Young Woman

Sarah King,
Purchasing Agent
"Those poor people have been through enough trauma without having to deal with the stigma of being kicked out of a hotel room—which I, as a former Van Halen groupie, can empathize with on a very deep level."

Asian Man

Jim Fessler,
Bailiff
"Why is everyone focusing on the negatives instead of how quickly and efficiently FEMA evacuated everyone from their hotel rooms?"

All American Voices

Personal of the Day