The Onion

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

A Raise For Congress

Prior to leaving for a two-week break, Congress approved another pay raise for itself. What do you think?

Old Woman

Michelle Halley,
Crossing Guard
"Good. That extra $3,000 a year will help keep them away from the less-important bribes."

Old Man

Jeremy Watson,
Fire Inspector
"Ordinarily I'd get upset by this, but due to the new amendments added to the Patriot Act last week, I no longer have the constitutional right to do so."

Black Man

Rex Byers,
Systems Analyst
"Now Dennis Hastert can put a down payment on that little home he's had his eye on for so long…mine."

All American Voices

Personal of the Day