The Onion

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Venezuela Offers Oil To Poor In Massachusetts

Under an agreement with Venezuela President Hugo Chavez, the poor in Massachusetts will receive cheap heating oil this winter. What do you think?

Young Man

Hugh Webb,
Pipe Fitter
"Stupid Venezuelans! Don't they know the stuff's valuable?"

Young Woman

Brenda Kruse,
Manicurist
"Our government should accept it and then turn around and sell it at a huge profit. In your face, Venezuelan president! And the poor!"

Asian Man

Hank Augustine,
Switchboard Operator
"I think the poor should do the right thing and snub Chavez's offer."

All American Voices

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