The Onion

Tuesday, December 6, 2005

Public Wants Troops Home

According to a recent poll, 52 percent of Americans want to withdraw troops from Iraq within the next 12 months. What do you think?

Black Man

James Pelletier,
Linguistics Professor
"Sure, they say that now, but just wait until the troops have been back for a few weeks."

Old Woman

Allison Roberts,
Systems Analyst
"That's intriguing, because 52 percent of me wants U.S. troops out of Iraq, too. Is the poll also, like me, 38 percent in support of the war and 10 percent unsure?"

Old Man

Ryan Heffernan,
Chief Operations Officer
"Ridiculous. I, for one, support our efforts in Iraq, and so do the other gentlemen on the board of Trans-American Cheap Pine Box, Inc."

Personal of the Day