Christmas can only mean one thing…

Jackie Harvey

Jackie Harvey

Jackie Harvey graduated from Viterbo University with a degree in English literature in 1990. After honing his writing and copy-editing skills at The Sunshine Shopper, he became The Onion's entertainment columnist in 1994, replacing the outgoing Archie "Arch" Danielson. Currently, Harvey writes his regular column, "The Outside Scoop," as well as his blog, "Harveywood!"

  • Thu, Dec 8, 8:04 am

    Come this time of year, decorations crawl out of the woodwork. It's all supposed to build you up for the big day. I can't go anywhere without seeing posters, billboards, trailers, TV commercials, every kind of ad for King Kong. Even car commercials have the big ape in them. And you know what? It's working! When I can't wait to get a dose of Christmas Kong! When I see him attack a dinosaur or wack a biplane, it's like my skin gets tighter. Maybe I should just watch the trailers all the time to get rid of my crows feet. Hmmm…That would certainly be some monkey business! But anyway, I'm counting down the days. And in case you aren't, it's 6.

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